its His blog

glory, faith, trust, hope, redemption

Lakad, Hinto at Tibok ng Puso

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Drifit at Pag asa

Nakita ko ang drifit na puti na ito kanina at napangiti ako. Nung buwan ng Pebrero, ilan beses ako naghanap ng puting drifit para sa inaasahan kong pagbabalik sana ng Badminton Ministry…hanggang sa nag ECQ na nga ulit.

Nakita ko ang drifit na ito kanina pagkatapos ng thyroid test ko pero naalala ko din na sinabi ko kahapon na makakalaro din ako sa lalong madaling panahon. Hindi din normal ang xray ko at ilan weeks na din akong madaling mapagod at hingalin. Binili ko ang drifit sa halagang 40pesos pero kasama dun ang pag asa na muli akong makakalaro at makakabalik sa Badminton kapag mas maayos na ang kalagayan ko. Inisip ko kung paraan ba ito ng Lord para magpaalala na patuloy na umasa at sa totoo lang napangiti ako habang naalala ko yung nabasa ko sa aking devotion.

Psalm 91:15b-16… I will be with him in trouble, with long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.

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Washing Machine, Medicine and the Goodness of God

In reality, our needs and challenges won’t ever outweigh the goodness of God…when it comes to Him providing for us, healing us, comforting us..and much more giving us spiritual blessings. That even in hard times we can receive comfort and understand His love through His Word and His works. The reality of our need magnifies our need for Him and His power to answer us.

He is our unchanging God. His love is constant and He will never fail us.

**Dami kong sinabi, background story…
We were able to bought washing machine this week, someone gave me the amount that I actually needed. I thank God also though we are working on asthma as my new diagnosis. Most of the time, I am short of breath, but when I bought my medicine I was really so happy.

Oh the goodness of God!
I am seeing Him providing, physically and most of all spiritually, He never leave me just like a Father to a child. He comforts me, reassures me and gives me His hope, constantly.

Psalm 34:8
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Blessed is He who trusts in Him!
(Oh the joys of those who trust in Him!- NLT)


Fear the Lord , you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing.  The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Psalms 34:9‭-‬10

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Pass me Not, Gentle Saviour

Lord huwag Mo po sana akong kalimutan..

“Pass me not O Lord,” tonight it was my prayer.

I thought about life and things about the future. I really do not feel forgotten right now, I just want to lay the future before Him and asked Him, not to pass me by. Gentle Savior, I asked that you do not pass me by.

As I opened my Bible, to read His Words. I am in awe of His precious words to me… But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me; my Lord has forgotten me.” “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.” Isaiah 49:14‭-‬16 ESV

I asked You if these are Your answers to me, I searched for the history of this song and found out…

One evening in 1868, Crosby was visiting a prison, walking down a long aisle between cells, reciting the Bible verses she knew by heart, when she heard a man call out, “Remember me! O Lord, please don’t pass me by.”  It hurts to be singled out, shunned, or shamed.  When it seems like the whole world is against us, we cry to our Savior. He was once mocked and rejected. He knows our pain. Singing this hymn, again we cry, “Do not pass me by. Remember me! Remember me! Remember me!”

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Do You Love Me More Than These?

Simon, do you love me more than these?

This startling question pierces into Peter’s heart.. he answer it politely but he was hurt when asked about the sincerity of it. He was hurt when asked not just twice but thrice.

If you truly love me, that means you cannot go back to fishing, you cannot plan your own life, direct your own course or steps. You cannot take your life in your hands. I will take you where you don’t want to go. I will direct you and show you how dependent you are to me. That is love Simon, it means taking your cross and following me in places where you dont want to go. Crucifying your desires, your self, your wants, your plans. Because I am your Lord, your Master.

Why are you hurt when asked? Don’t you know I know you, I know your thoughts, I have made you. I weave you, I knitted you and put my breath in you. I know you and created your soul. Your very desires, I created you to delight in me, to run to me, to yield to me.

From now on, you will be catching men not fish. You will have different priorities, you will leave the life that you have, you will leave your identity. That is love Simon, it’s a sacrifice. It’s not about who you are, where you are, what you are. It’s not about your plans, your ambitions, desires. It’s about me being the Lord of your life, the Lord of your dreams, the God of your ambitions.

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Eco bag, Frixion pens, God’s answers to my sighs..

I wonder if He hears me……

A note from my journal two weeks before this event happened. That time, I was really struggling with, seeing and having all the answers, as I put all my questions and hurt in my journal, I do not know how to resolve all the conflicts within. I struggle with seeing my family be saved, I struggle with singleness at times, I struggle waiting for God’s leading about Missions. Then another week passed by..as I continue with my daily tasks, I thought of buying or having these three things, an eco bag for my groceries, a frixion pen so that I would not have to erase on my planner and yes, a black undergarment (which I did not include in the title). It’s not really a desire actually, It just passed by my mind, I do not see it as a need also because I can go on without it. So I guess it’s just one of the things that crosses your mind for just a few seconds then the day after you do not remember it anymore. To put it plainly, it’s not that important for me. It’s just like when you “sigh” and then let a breath of air passed out.

Then came Sunday in the church (2nd week of Feb). A friend gave me an eco bag and a black undergarment. Then two of my sisters at church gave me frixion pens, (plural), yes two frixion pens. When I went home I realized Someone is answering my sighs, my tiniest concerns, not even the things that I really want, not even the things I need. The things that simply crosses my mind, the not so important things, those that I didn’t even mention in prayer…it is simply noted, it is seen, and yes I am being noticed by that Someone, by Someone who cares, by Someone who is my encourager telling me to go on, to continue praying, by that Someone who answers my note on my journal. I wonder if He hears me, and I am being affirmed that the Father hears me and through these, the eco bag and frixion pens, He is saying to me..

“Yes I hear you my child, continue praying, continue persevering because I am noticing even the not so important things in your life. I am that Someone whom you think is not listening sometimes but I am your Heavenly Father. Continue believing my daughter, I have the best in mind for you.”

**Thank you ate Mitzie, Cza, Mimi for remembering me, and through you, I know that the Father remembers me.

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The Hurt of Unanswered Prayers

As much as I want to write books or articles about How God answers Prayers or Prayer that moves God… It is inevitable for me to write and put all my thoughts on this note. Indeed, we want our prayers to be answered, we want a yes, not a wait, nor a denial and as much as we continue to ask, to seek and to knock still at times no answers would come. There are times when God’s promise would come and ease your pain, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared to those who love Him.” Then you hold on to the promise and believe again and hope again and ask again. But then God would tell you to wait again, to hope again even when you cannot see Him doing anything. At times I would pray for God to take away every desire even those godly desires so that I will not hope anymore and be disappointed. At times I would ask why He seems to be swift in answering the prayers of others while I feel so left out, while my prayers seems to be put in a box, in a corner of heaven and I wonder if He hears me, if He sees me, if He knew all my cares. I want to take Him at His Word, I want to trust Him but my flesh cannot understand, my mind which cannot comprehend His ways would always tell me to doubt His care, His provision, His protection…and there were times I really need to be safe, to know Him as my refuge, that I can run and depend on Him just like a Father.

I hope that there are already resolved as I write this, I hope that I am already at the end of my time seeing that everything on earth is fleeting even my life. I hope to have the faith that believes God in every Word but up to now I still battle with doubts, I still asked Him to show His goodness and kindness to me even without the answers…

I know He is good not because I have what I’ve been asking for but because He is God. I know that someday I will have a great understanding of how He is gracious and kind and loving. Of how good He is simply because He is God and His goodness doesn’t depend on His answers to my prayers… one day I will see His work in me, someday I will have the answers to those that He makes me hope for and until then I will learn to be satisfied in Him, I will learn to be content even with the delays, even without the answers….even with the hurt that comes with it.

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HASTEN THE DAY

Hasten the day Lord
When we will meet each other
Where I will finally lay my eyes on him

Hasten the day
Where we will be there for one another to comfort one another, be the source of encouragement

Hasten the day Lord where I can just sit and stare at his face and see your grace that brought us together

Hasten the day where I can sing songs with him and hear his sweet voice telling me that he loves me

Hasten the day Lord where we can finally exchange our vows not only to one another but to help each other fulfill our commitment to serve you until the end

Hasten the day Lord where I can process things with him and know that your lovingkindness brings us together

Hasten the day Lord where I can grow and be more mature even as we try to settle our differences together

Hasten the day where I can be a helper that meets his needs

Hasten the day Lord where I can be an encourager when serving You is not easy for him

Hasten the day Lord where I can go to places with him not just to travel and watch the sunset but to share the gospel to the lost and needy

Hasten the day Lord that I can love, honor and obey You more because of him

Lord, I pray hasten the day

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Two Little Copper Coins

Two little copper coins
That is what all she had
She had put everything
She gave it all and now she owns nothing

But the Savior said she gave everything
The Savior notices… her death, her affection, her sacrifice

What can one give?
When the Lord did not spare His only Son
What can I give to repay?
I do not have that much
I do not have the riches in this world

All I have is time, talents and this life He has given me
Yes, even everything that I have now He has given me
Will I withold it to the One who really owns it?
Will I give it away?
Only to gain what I cannot lose

I grieve all my lossess
I weep for my dreams
As if they are really mine
But I know there is a greater thing
Greater than all my aspirations
Greater than me

My life do not belong to me now
Even if I give it, I know I still cannot repay
His love, His sacrifice
And this life, this dreams are all that I have now
These are my two little copper coins

What do you have?
Will you offer it?
Will you give it?
To the One who really owns it

Read the rest of this entry »

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I AM WILLING

When I come to You
Will you be willing?
When I come to You
Will you stretch out Your hand to heal?
When I come to You will You touch me eventhough I am unclean?

I can offer nothing in this world
I cannot plead on my own merit
I cannot come on my own strength
But only because Your Son gave me the right to come boldly

I know it will never be a question if You can because I know that You can do all things.
A God who is mighty in wonder
A God who is powerful enough to calm the raging storm

The one who says, “all things are possible to him who believes”
The one who says it will be according to your faith

Let me believe Lord and have that faith that not just move mountains
But faith that is willing to trust, willing to yield and willing to suffer

If I come and implore will You be willing?
Then a silent response I heard from You, “I am willing”.
From this day it will carry me to a new journey
Knowing a God who is not just able but willing

*written on one of the most anxious time of my life where the doctor told me that my mom and I can have the same condition.

I know I am trusting Him as my only healer

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BE MY VISION

Lord, be my vision, my all, my desires, my longing

Be my everything Lord, my rest in this restless world, my peace in a world of chaos, my love in a hostile world, my security in this unsecured world, my hope in this hopeless world, my healing in this broken world.

Lord be my vision, my earnest desire, my longing, my future, my hopes, my encouragement, my everything.

Lord, help me to surrender in You everything I am hoping for knowing that You will never fail me, help me to surrender everything I am waiting for knowing that Your timing is never too late, help me to surrender all my questions knowing that Your wisdom is supreme, help me to surrender all my rights knowing that You own this life, help me to surrender living for myself knowing that Your cross compels us not to live for ourselves anymore

Be my vision Lord, be my strength in waiting, my hope in suffering, my trust in anguish, my passion, my zeal.

Consume me Lord, take everything that I am, control me Lord, take my life in Your hands, comfort me Lord, be my joy in my sorrow, surround me Lord, let my life revolve for Your glory, heal me Lord, let my pain honor Your name.

Take me Lord and used me, mold me, hide me until You become my vision, my all

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Call to Ministry

SALVATION TESTIMONY

I came to know the Lord April of 2010, I surrendered my life to Him knowing that I have lived a worthless and careless life. I have so much pain and bitterness having a broken relationship with my father. I grew up being very angry and bitter, often cursing people a lot. I also grew up with so much rejection that traces its roots from my mother’s womb who once tried to get rid of me. I thought that being a nurse would make me feel whole but I always ended up being broken because of so many things and issues that is inside my heart. As the Lord’s love reached me and my isolated, hostile and angry world. I learned to forgive my father who was once an abuse child also and my mother who was also abandoned by her mother. The healing of my emotional wounds started and I started to become whole as a person, started to change in my speech, actions as well as my desires. The hurt turned into healing, unforgiveness to forgiveness, my rejection to acceptance. I am thankful for what the Lord has done for me, I am thankful for His wounds that healed me. I am thankful for the cross and the life that He gave me that I have committed my life and told Him, “Here am I Lord, send me!”

My life verse is Isaiah 53:5.. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him and by His wounds, we are healed.

CALL TO MINISTRY

I think it was late in 2011 when I first heard the Lord calling me into the ministry, a year after I became a Christian, then I asked the Lord that if it is really His will, may He prepare me, allow me to discover my gifts and use me as His vessel in the hospital, and if He wants me to leave that place someday, may He not allow me to sleep anymore. From 2011-2013, I consider the hospital as my mission field and nursing as my worship. I committed myself to sharing the gospel to the ‘outcasts patients’, they were those who are positive with HIV, others who committed suicide. Outcasts because some of the healthcare attitude towards them was like this: they want to die anyway, so why take care of them. Aside from those, I also committed myself to sharing the gospel to the patients dying of cancer, the sexually molested patients, patients who were convicted of crime and others. It really was God’s grace that has placed me in one of the most hopeless place I have ever seen in my entire life, the emergency room of the Philippine General Hospital.

Late 2013, I started to be restless, my QT verses were also much different, I knew then that God is calling me to serve Him not in the hospital anymore. The first thing that I have ever said to the Lord is ‘what about my dreams Lord?’, and then the Lord led me to a verse in Jeremiah 45:5, “Should you then seek great things for yourself, seek them not”. Then I asked the Lord, what about helping my parents, the Lord answered me by giving me this verse, “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.” With all these things starting to confuse me, I thought that being in the ministry would really turn my world upside down so I started to think of one thing that has never happened to me for the last 29 years, something that is opposite of nursing, so I said that ‘maybe if I became admitted to this hospital as a patient, then maybe it’s really time to go into the ministry. Back then, I was on my 3rd year since I came to know Christ and that is what my little faith could ever ask for. I uttered those things on Nov.2013 and January 1, 2014, New Year’s Day. I was admitted with a diagnosis of Acute Gastroenteritis, amazingly all the laboratory results were normal, not even a single loss of potassium I had. On day 2 of my admission, I receive a text, rather a quote, “when God says go, men cannot say stop”. After these things, my heart started to become more and more restless, then I thought of having to obtain the blessing of my parents but back then and even up to now, I am the only Christian in the family, my mother would allow me to go to the church but not to the point of leaving my work and I never had a single courage to talk to them about it.

April of 2014, my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and July 2014, she was already recovering from her surgery. On one of her weakest moments, she told me, “Do you want to resign now? I am now allowing you to go?” I was so shocked at this point because I have never said a word to her. At this point, Cancer and God’s calling were both making me restless and unable to sleep. So I asked the Lord, “do you want me to resign now?” that night as I prepare for a bible study, the Lord led me to Ecclesiastes 5:4, “When you made a vow to the Lord, do not delay in fulfilling your vow, He has no pleasure in fools, fulfill your vow.” September of 2014, two months after the operation, my mother was cleared of cancer, we did not go into chemotherapy and I still have no sleep, I was so restless and for two months I cried every night because of so much fear inside me. But still I move forward, I resigned which ended up my six years of work as a nurse and headed up for a new journey. The day after my resignation was the most fearful day for me, I was afraid of getting into depression after giving up my work, then I asked the Lord if I made the right decision, my QT that day was on Zephaniah chapter 3:5, says, “The Lord within her is righteous, He does no wrong…”

BIBLE INSTITUTE

June 2015, I entered the bible institute. The Lord taught me many things at BI especially about His call in my life. On one afternoon while contemplating about it, He gave me a verse that says, “If anyone wants to follow me, He must deny himself take up his cross and follow me”. He made me realized that the cross I am about to bear is not just about me or my family but rather the cross of being accountable to the souls of the people and I honestly do not want that cross, I think it’s too heavy for me to bear and though fearful I went out of the BI determined to fulfill His calling in my life.

MISSIONS

After BI, I was given the privilege to teach the college students near our church and right now we are still promoting the student center. November last year, while recovering from my admission in the hospital, the Lord answered my prayer on reaching our community. He has brought children to our home for a bible study, to clarify, I didn’t ask for children’s bible study. I was running away from children’s ministry for so long because children easily intimidate me, that time I do not know how to communicate with them. But the Lord is so faithful enabling me to go beyond the usual things that I am doing. Last summer we held a mini VBS in a daycare center in our place. The Lord has given me confidence and turned my weaknesses into strength, I learned that there are things that I cannot do but I am able to because of His grace that is ever sufficient.

I also became a part of the Luneta Ministry reaching out to the Muslims in the Islamic Center of Quiapo and homeless people of Luneta.

After BI also I became involved once again to the evangelism ministry every Wednesday. One encouragements that we had come last month when a husband and wife came to visit our church. They said that they receive a tract with the name of our church about four years ago and it was only during that time that they have decided to visit the church. God is teaching me that missions is sometimes about sowing and not reaping, and sometimes reaping what you did not sow, sometimes waiting, sometimes there will be fruit, or there will be none, but you will still hold on to the hope that His words will not return empty.

So many lessons in the ministry that God is teaching me, foremost is that we cannot give what we do not have so everyday I am being challenge to grow in my faith and to intimately walk with the Lord because a life that is to be poured out for others is a life that is yielding and cleaving to Jesus. God is teaching me to have a balance of knowing Him through spiritual truths and to live out whatever things I am learning by, a balance of heart and mind, of passion and doctrine.

God is also teaching me that every failure is an opportunity to walk in faith and to practice humility. A minister’s heart is very prone to spiritual pride but time and again the Holy Spirit would remind me that Missions is not only about doing but becoming. No matter how many things I do for the Lord, I must keep in mind that by His grace alone, I am called His servant. My kuya’s at GBC would always remind me that it’s not about titles or position but to remember always that we are slaves for Christ, unworthy servants. As I serve Christ, He is teaching me that there is joy not only in sharing the gospel but in seeing people’s lives transform and all the more He is giving me the desire to be like HIM because people will be attracted to the gospel not only because of what we do but because of who we are.

It is one thing to read about God’s character and it is another thing to experience who He is. He has been so patient with me and the little faith that I have. Infinitely wise to guide me and He knows exactly what to do every time I would run away from His call and directions. Sovereign enough to use cancer so that His calling in my life will be fulfilled. He is intimately involved in every aspect of my life, guiding me through every decision making by His Word, through the ups and downs of the ministry and to every personal struggle that I have. He keeps on changing me, HE keeps on sustaining me especially when I feel giving up on people whom I am ministering to. He often reminds me that HE is the Author and Finisher not only of my faith but of this work that HE has given me. I am also knowing HIM as my great provider who is not only changing the self sufficient Nurse Lyn who handles her own money well but teaching me to depend on HIM daily as HE sustains my needs. There is growth in being confident not only on God’s abilities but on HIS person and character. The more I am getting to know HIM, the more I am learning to trust HIM as my Provider and most of all as my loving FATHER. A Father who sometimes withhold things from me because HE knows that my deepest desires can only be met by HIM alone.

Someday by God’s grace, I know I will be more faithful doing the work for HIS kingdom. As I walk closely I know that there would be less mistakes and more of HIS wisdom, more of CHRIST and less of me. By His grace, there’d be more humility and less of pride and much much more of HIS glory… but when that day comes, I do not know if I ever want to hear the words, “well done, good and faithful servant”…. Because I know that even the word ‘servant’ or ‘slave’….even that I do not deserve.

My Ministry Verse: 2CORINTHIANS 5:14-15 For the love of Christ compels us, because we have concluded this, that one has died for all therefore all have died, and HE died for all that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

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Even if it tarries…

Waiting…definitely one of the hardest thing in life. It tests our faith, it tests our hope, our endurance, our confidence. Will it be a time of doubts or preparation? A time of hope or despair? Will there ever be someone for me? Will I make the move now? Will I trust Him when He said, “though it tarries, wait for it”? How can I be sure, How will I be secure? I only have this hope, I only have His promise…and I am assured of the things I hope for not because of who I am but because He made the promise. He will guide me, He will lead me, He will direct my paths and as I wait my faith will grow stronger, it will reach its highest peak, it will have its deepest roots on the character of the Almighty. His promises are Yes in Christ. Christ in Him and I in Him and I will know Him more in this season. I will rest in Him more. Giving Him the glory that though I became weary I will still hold on to His promise, that though there will be times of sadness, I will rejoice in Him, that though there are seasons of doubts, He is my assurance, that though there are seasons of pain, He is my peace, that though my heart is discourage, He to me is the God of my strength and the God of all comfort.

And Yes, I will wait… because in here, I finally understand that my deepest desires and longings can only be met by Him alone.

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Lunchtime

As I walked through this hallway once again, I remember His lovingkindness while going in and out of the duty. I visited ER once again and saw one of my favorite señior nurse. Then I went to the mall to have my new license, all of a sudden I felt that this world is too big and I am just a small creature living here..(and it scares me). As I went to eat, there were too many people inside but in my heart I said, there must be a place for me. Then suddenly a woman called me and said, “dito ka na lang umupo”. Then I said to the Lord “where would this thought go Lord, I must realized something more than knowing that this world is too big and that You are a great God.” After, I walked outside and there I saw in a boutique, a sign that says, “YOU MATTER”. And I knew right then, He made me realized that…somewhere in this vast world…a tiny creature like me matters most to Him.

O Lord , what is man that you regard him, or the son of man that you think of him?
Psalms 144:3

#quietconversations
#lunchtime

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IKAW ANG KATIYAKAN

Nais kong makasiguro
Sa mundo na ang tanging bagay na ganap ay kamatayan
Nais kong maging tiyak sa aking hahantungan

Saan ako tataya upang maging ganap ang pag asa
Saan ako tataya upang masabi na sa huli ay Siya ang aking makikita
Ako ba ay magtitiwala sa aking sarili
Ako ba ay gagawa ng mga bagay na mabuti
Upang sa huli ikaw ay masilayan at matawag na akin

Ikaw ang aking katiyakan
Ang iyong buhay at kamatayan
Ang iyong pag ibig at pagliligtas
Ang tanging dahilan upang ako ay makapasok sa iyong kaharian
At magkaroon ng pagkakataong tawagin kang “Panginoon”

Napakasarap sambitin
Ikaw ang aking Panginoon at ako ay iyong nakikilala
Bago pa man ako isilang
Ikaw ay may plano na sa aking buhay

Ikaw ang Panginoon
Ikaw ang nagmamay ari ng aking buhay at walang hanggan
Kay dakila ng iyong pag ibig na sa akin ay magdadala upang ako ay makapasok sa iyong kaharian

Ako ay nasasabik na ikaw ay mamasdan at tawaging Panginoon
Panginoon, aking tagapagligtas, aking katiyakan

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Like Sheeps Without a Shepherd

As we run the program for the Teacher’s Retreat, I see their faces and I saw that certain look of tiredness and weariness, like sheep without a Shepherd and it made my heart so heavy. They attended because of a purpose, they wanted rest..they may not find it in the retreat but I know they will find it in Jesus. That certain look and that certain heaviness, I saw it not because I am able to see it with my eyes but because of the Spirit that is inside me. I see broken lives, I see weary souls, and I perceive they are in need of a Savior and it is only Jesus who can give that rest.

I pray they will find you. I pray they will come and lay all their burdens.

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Kalungkutan

Nariyan lang, minsan dulot ng iba’t ibang sitwasyon, kakulangan, o minsan ay sadyang walang dahilan. Maraming tao ang naghahangad na maging masaya o di kaya ay pinipilt na itago ang lungkot, ang iba ay hinahanap ito sa mga pangyayari tulad ng pagdalo sa mga party, pag inom o paggamit ng droga. Ngunit kapag mag isa na lang, bumabalik lang ang lungkot, tila dinadalaw ng isang pamilyar na kaibigan na hindi mo nais pang makita o maranasan.

Bakit ka nalulungkot? Bakit may lungkot kahit hindi mo gusto? Bakit may lungkot kahit walang dahilan o kahit lahat ay nasa akin na? Kayamanan o pera nga ba ang tunay na makakapag pasaya? Ngunit bakit ang mga sikat na artista ay dumadaing na kulang pa at hindi ako masaya.

Ang puso ay sadyang may itinatagong kalungkutan… marahil dala ng mga bagay na pinagsisihan o mga pagkakamaling nagawa, marahil dala ng mga iniisip mong kakulangan sa buhay, marahil dahil sa mga taong nakasakit sa iyo at hindi mo mapatawad. Iba ibang dahilan ngunit mayroon nga bang solusyon para sa lungkot na aking nadarama?

Nasaan ang tunay na kaligayahan? Ito ba ay nararanasan lamang ng mga sikat? Ng mga mayayaman? O ng mga may lovelife? Nais kong maging masaya kahit ako ay mag isa. Nais kong maging ganap ang ligaya. Ito rin ba ang ninanais ng Diyos para sa akin? Ako ba ay nakikilala Nya sa panahon ng kalungkutan? Siya na may likha sa akin, napapansin kaya Nya ang bigat na nadarama?

Ang iyong mga tanong ay minsan ko ring naging katanungan at una kong nahanap ang kasagutan sa pamamagitan ng aking paglapit sa Panginoong Hesus, sinubukan kong magbasa ng bibliya, manalangin nang buong puso upang mahanap ang napaka ilap na ligaya na akala ko ay hindi na matatagpuan pa.

At ako ay nagtagumpay laban sa lungkot na dala ng aking mga pagkakamali, ng aking mga kabiguan, ng aking sirang relasyon sa aking kapwa. Ang lahat ng aking lungkot ay kasama pala sa pinasan ni Hesus sa krus ng kalbaryo, ito rin pala ay kasama sa mga pinagbayaran, kalungkutan na dala ng kasalanan ng mga tao sa akin at dala ko mismo sa aking sarili dahil ako ay makasalanan.

Nais mo bang maging masaya? Huwag mo na sana itong hanapin sa mga kalayawan o pansamantalang saya na lilipas din. Ang sagot sa iyong kalungkutan ay ang ligaya na dulot ng iyong pagkilala sa Panginoong Hesus at ng iyong panibagong buhay na malaya sa kalungkutan at pagdurusa na dulot ng kasalanan.

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Pasado ka ba?

Ang iyong test o exam ay one to one hundred, kailangan mong maka 75 o 65 para makapasa. Pasado ka ba?

Mabuti at may itinakdang grado upang makapasa, mabuti at may awa upang masabing ikaw ay pasang awa. Mabuti at hindi naghahangad ng 100 o perpektong grado ang iyong guro. Dahil konting pagsusumikap ikaw ay makakapasa at makaka graduate sa takdang panahon.

Ngunit pagdating sa Diyos, pasado ka ba? Ayon sa Bibliya, ang Diyos ay banal at perpekto at ang mga taong dapat na lumapit sa kanya ay dapat na may kabanalan ding taglay ngunit sa iyong sarili alam mong ikaw ay nandaya, nagsinungaling, nanghusga o nakipag -away. Ang tanong pasado ka bang sa gradong 100 na itinakda. One hundred ang requirement, walang pasang awa dahil ang hindi makakapasa ay magdaranas ng galit at poot ng Diyos na banal at makatarungan. Galit at poot para sa mga makasalanan, kaparusahan para sa mga taong hindi nakakabot sa perpektong grado.

Kung ganun, paano ka makakapasa? Hindi 99% kundi 100% na grado upang tanggapin sa langit.

Gagamitin ko ba ang aking talino upang makaabot sa itinakdang grado? Magagamit ba ang kayamanan upang makabili ng perpektong score? ng perpektong kabanalan? Ang katotohanan ay wala sa ating mga kamay ang kaligtasan, ang maging perpekto sa paningin ng Diyos ay nakasalalay sa kanyang pagtingin sa kanyang Anak na si Hesus. Sinasabi sa Bibliya, “Hindi nagkasala si Cristo, ngunit dahil sa atin, Siya’y ibinilang na makasalanan upang sa pakikipag-isa natin sa Kanya ay maging matuwid tayo sa harap ng Diyos.”(2Corinto 5:21).

Ayon sa Leviticus 22:21, upang tanggapin ang alay na magbabayad sa kasalanan ng mga tao, KAILANGAN ITONG MAGING PERPEKTO at sa ating panahon ngayon, tanging ang pag-aalay ng dugo ng perpektong Diyos na si Hesus ang karapat dapat sa paningin ng Diyos upang tayo ay mapatawad ng Diyos Ama. Kapag dumating ang araw ng pagsusulit na tinatawag ding kamatayan, 100% ang hihingin na score sa atin at ito ay makakamit lamang sa pamamagitan ng isandaang porsyentong pagtitiwala na si Hesus lamang ang tanging tagapagligtas na nagbayad ng ating mga kasalanan at wala ka nang ititira pang pagtitiwala na kaya mong iligtas ang iyong sarili sa paggawa ng mabuti.

Kaibigan, inaanyayahan kita upang i-eksamin ang iyong sarili at kung makita mong ikaw ay hindi nakapasa, HUWAG MAWALAN NG PAG-ASA SAPAGKAT SI HESUS AY NAGHIHINTAY UPANG ILIGTAS KA. Siya na namatay, inilibing at sa ikatlong araw ay nabuhay ang perpektong alay sa ating mga kasalanan. MAGTIWALA KA SA KANYA AT HINDI SA IYONG SARILI UPANG MAKAPASA SA PANINGIN NG DIYOS.

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Because of the Cake….

Grace, sometimes I think I deserve it, sometimes I think that I need to have more than what I have now. But if I deserve it….then it would not be grace after all. Sometimes I forgot that I am a wretched sinner just like everybody, sometimes I think that I deserve a good life to have all the good things of this world. Then, a hard realization hit my heart. I do not deserve anything at  ll, not even to taste good food, I do not deserve even to wake up one morning with air that’s filling up my lungs, I do not deserve a family, I do not deserve the kindness of the people around me, I do not deserve even just to read a book or to have my eyesight.Without it I do not deserve to plead and intercede, without it I cannot come to the Father crying out with all  the hurt I have inside.

But grace came in, and because of this I am now deserving. Because of it, I am now accepted, I am now His child. Because of grace, I now deserve life, because of grace I can now come with such boldness and confidence that the Father hears me. Because of grace I can now eat cake and enjoy the taste of it. All because of His grace, even the smallest detail of my life was fought in Calvary. Were it not for grace, I do not deserve even just a single minute with the Father.

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PANSIN MO BA AKO?

Gaano ako kahalaga? Ano ang halagang aking buhay? Nais kong makilala…nais kong magmahal at mahalin….nais kong tanggapin ng buo at walang paghuhusga.

Sa panahon ngayon, marami sa atin ang naghahanap ng taong magbibigay ng halaga sa kanilang buhay, marami sa atin ang naghahangad na mapansin, purihin o tanggapin ng buo at walang pag-aalinlangan. May mga tao na gagawin ang lahat upang matanggap, iinom ng gluta, gagamit ng papaya, uunatin ang kulot na buhok, maglalagay ng pekeng pilik-mata, magpapaka gutom upang maging kasing hugis ng hinahangaang idolo, makikisama sa barkada, itataya ang paninindigan upang kunin ang panibagong paniniwala na hindi naman kayang panindigan.

Ngunit kadalasan ang paglalakbay tungo sa paghahanap na halaga ay nagiging mahaba at nakakapagod na lakbayin. Nauuwi tayo sa sakit at kabiguan. Tunay nga na ang paghahanap ng sariling halaga ay nakakapagod, nakaka frustrate.

Saan nga ba ito matatagpuan? Kung wala ito sa sarili, ito ba ay nasa iba? Nasa pamilya o kaibigan? Sa panahon ngayon, pataas ng pataas ang bilang ng mga kumukha ng sariling buhay. Kanya kanyang dahilan ngunit isa na rito ay ang kawalan ng halaga o mababang pagtingin sa sarili.

o maaari kayang ang iba ay gaya ng aking kaibigan, Ipinanganak na may kasamang rejection at puno ng insecurity sapagkat nadama ang hindi pagtanggap sa sinapupunan pa lang ng kanyang ina o maaaring nakatanggap ka ng masasakit na salita patungkol sa iyong pisikal na kaanyuan o katayuan sa buhay. Masakit ang hindi tanggapin sa iyong pamilya o lipunan na iyong kinabibilangan. Para itong patalim na sumusugat sa iyong pagkatao kung saan maraming pagkakamali ang maaaring magsimula rito.

Sa Bibliya, mayroon ding isang tao na nakaranas ng karanasan mo, He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows…….Naranasan Nya ang hindi paniwalaan ng sariling pamilya, ang pagdudahan ang kakayahan ng mga tao sa kanyang paligid, ang mapuno ng sakit at paghuhusga, ituring na kriminal, parusahan at hatulan ng kamatayan.

Kaibigan, kung nais mo ng pagtanggap, huwag itong hanapin sa iyong sarili o sa iyong pamilya o sa mga materyal na bagay. Lumapit ka kay Hesus sapagkat Siya ang tanging nakakaalam ng lahat ng iyong pagkukulang, pagkakamali, mga itinatagong lihim o kasalanan. Siya ay Diyos na naranasan din ang lahat ng naranasan mo…..

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